Grownup Einstein

Chemo starts again Monday, and in an attempt to stave off chemo brain, I’ve been at home all day watching Baby Einstein videos–you know, the videos that play that horribly annoying music and show various shapes and other images on the screen in an attempt to dull the brains of millions of children around the world. The videos are designed to make you as smart as Einstein himself. And so far it seems to be paying off for me. After watching a collection of videos called “Baby Einstein On the Go” my IQ is up 20 points and I now feel compelled to watch 16 hours of television a day. Thanks, Baby Einstein, Mission Accomplished!

Our President, no surprise here, is also a great fan of Baby Einstein.

In case you missed it, last week, during his State of the Union address, between the lies, nonsense, double-talk, and standard deception, President Bush carried on a twenty-five-year-old tradition and pointed to the visitors gallery to acknowledge several great Americans (can you believe that this guy is even allowed to give the SOTU? When will our alien overseers finally end his illegal and immoral rule?). This year’s honorees included an Iraqi War hero and a brave man from New York City who jumped onto a NYC subway track in front of an approaching train to save a complete stranger. Bush also honored Julie Aigner-Clark, the founder of the Baby Einstein Company.

Huh? What? The founder of Baby Einstein was honored by the President as embodying “the great enterprising spirit of America” despite the fact that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends absolutely NO television before the age of two, not to mention a Federal Trade Commission investigation against the company for the deceptive and false advertising of its products.

Did someone forget to tell this to the President or was the President and his staff too busy watching the Baby Einstein Language Nursery DVD in preparation for his State of the Union to know that something might be amiss in Baby Einstein-land?

The folks at Baby Einstein, who “respect” the good doctors at the American Academy of Pediatrics, “do not believe that their recommendation of no television for children under the age of two reflects the reality of today’s parents, families and households – for example, a recent Kaiser Family Foundation study found that 68% of all babies under two years old watch screen media on any given day.” (Source: http://www.babyeinstein.com) Hmmm. The opinion of a medical organization advocating for children’s health and safety doesn’t matter because the majority of children under the age of two are already watching television. Are they kidding? There is something about this type of thinking that is strangely Bush-like. It’s no wonder that Ms. Aigner-Clark and her company are favorites of the President, who has used similar lines of logic in violating our Constitution and miring us in a war in Iraq.

Meanwhile, I wonder how old Albert must feel seeing his good name trampled on in such poor fashion? I don’t know much about Einstein the man, but it probably isn’t a stretch to believe that his response to the folks trying to sells smarts by ripping off his name AND to a President ruining his adopted home would have looked something like this…