In the Jewish tradition one does not bury the dead with a headstone. That event happens later and is called the “unveiling.”
We celebrated my father’s life at his unveiling on June 22. We read some prayers and sang some songs. I think it would have made him happy.
Sophia, whom will only remember her Grandpa Allen through our memories, was very sweet during our short ceremony and we were all touched when she sat down on her Grandpa’s headstone.
What follows are the prayers and songs we sang as we celebrated my father’s life.
Allen Charles Yudell, February 24, 1939-February 21, 2007
We Are Loved By An Unending Love
By Rabbi Rami Shapiro
We are loved by an unending love.
We are embraced by arms that find us even when we are hidden from ourselves.
We are touched by fingers that soothe us even when we are too proud for soothing.
We are counseled by voices that guide us even when we are too embittered to hear.
We are loved by an unending love.
We are supported by hands that uplift us even in the midst of a fall.
We are urged on by eyes that meet us even when we are too weak for meeting.
We are loved by an unending love.
Embraced, touched, soothed, and counseled,
Ours are the arms, the fingers, the voices;
Ours are the hands, the eyes, the smiles;
We are loved by an unending love.
Psalm 121
I will lift up mine eyes unto the mountains;
From whence shall my help come?
My help cometh from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.
He will not suffer thy foot be moved;
He that keepeth thee will not slumber.
Behold, He that keepeth Israel Doth neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord is thy keeper;
The Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand.
The sun shall not smite thee by day, Nor the moon by night.
The Lord shall keep thee from all evil;
He shall keep thy soul.
The Lord shall guard thy going out and thy coming in,
From this time forth and forever.
EL MOLEY RACHAMIM
El malay rachamim shochen bamiromim,
Hamtzey menucha nechona tachas kanfey hashechina,
B’ maalos kedoshim ut’ horim kezohar harakeea
mazhirim es nishma Chiam Guttman.
Shehalach 1’olamo
Ba’voor shenadvoo tzedaka b’ad
hazkaras nishmaso
b’ gan eden t’ hay m’ noochaso
lachen baal harachamim
yastirayhoo b’seser kna fav 1’olamim
v’ytzror bitzror hachayim es nishmaso
Adonoy hoo nachalaso, v’yanooach
b’shalom al mishkavo, v’nomar
ah’main.
EL MOLEH RACHAMIM
O, God, full of compassion, grant perfect rest beneath the shelter of Thy divine presence among the holy and pure who shine as the brightness of the firmament to the soul of our beloved who has gone to his eternal home.
Mayest Thou, O God of Mercy, shelter him forever under the wings of Thy presence, May his soul be bound up in the bond of life eternal, and grant that the memories of my life inspire me always to noble and consecrated living. Amen.
Unveiling the Headstone
In memory of Allen Yudell, we establish and consecrate this monument.
It is a token of our deep love and respect.
He is remembered now, and forever, part of the good in each of us.
May his soul be bound up in the bonds of life.
Prayer on Unveiling Markers or Monuments
The body has died; the spirit it housed will never die. On earth our dear ones do live on through those of us to whom they were so very precious.
(The covering is removed)
We now fondly dedicate this memorial to the blessed memory of Allen Yudell realizing that his remains lie not only in this plot of ground but in every heart his life did touch.
O G-d, we are grateful for the years we were privileged to share with him -years when he brought us so many pleasures and taught us so very much by example.
And even thought he has left our midst, we know he will never leave our hearts where his memory will endure as a blessing forever.
Mourner’s Kaddish
Yit’gadal v’yit’kadash sh’mei raba (Cong: Amein).
May G-d’s great Name grow exalted and sanctified (`Cong: Amen.)
b’al’ma di v’ra khir’utei
in the world that G-d created as She willed.
v’yam’likh mal’khutei b’chayeikhon uv’yomeikhon
May She give reign to Her kingship in your lifetimes and in your days,
uv’chayei d’khol beit yis’ra’eil
and in the lifetimes of the entire Family of Israel,
ba’agala uviz’man kariv v’im’ru:
swiftly and soon. Now say:
(Mourners and Congregation:)
Amein. Y’hei sh’mei raba m’varakh l’alam ul’al’mei al’maya
(Amen. May G-d’s great Name be blessed forever and ever.)
Yit’barakh v’yish’tabach v’yit’pa’ar v’yit’romam v’yit’nasei
Blessed, praised, glorified, exalted, extolled,
v’yit’hadar v’yit’aleh v’yit’halal sh’mei d’kud’sha
mighty, upraised, and lauded be the Name of the Holy One
(Mourners and Congregation:)
B’rikh hu.
Blessed is She.
l’eila min kol bir’khata v’shirara
beyond any blessing and song,
toosh’b’chatah v’nechematah, da’ameeran b’al’mah, v’eemru:
praise and consolation that are uttered in the world. Now say:
(Mourners and Congregation:)
Amein
Amen
Y’hei sh’lama raba min sh’maya
May there be abundant peace from Heaven
v’chayim aleinu v’al kol yis’ra’eil v’im’ru
and life upon us and upon all Israel. Now say:
(Mourners and Congregation:)
Amein
Amen
Oseh shalom bim’romav hu ya’aseh shalom
G-d Who makes peace in Her heights, may She make peace,
aleinu v’al kol Yis’ra’eil v’im’ru
upon us and upon all Israel. Now say:
(Mourners and Congregation:)
Amein
Amen
“A House With Love In It”
By Nat King Cole
A house with love in it is rich indeed
although there are a thousand things that house may need
The carpet may be old, the room so plain and bare
and yet it’s beautiful somehow when love is living there
A house with love in it just seems to bloom
as though the month of may were filling every room
So darling true the years with all my heart I’ll pray
a house with love in it is where we’ll stay
So darling true the years with all my heart I’ll pray
a house with love in it is where we’ll stay.
“Nature Boy”
By Nat King Cole
There was a boy
A very strange enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far, very far
Over land and sea
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he
And then one day
A magic day he passed my way
And while we spoke of many things
Fools and kings
This he said to me
“the greatest thing you’ll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return”
“Keep Me In Your Heart”
By Warren Zevon & Jorge Calderon
Shadows are falling and I’m running out of breath
Keep me in your heart for awhile
If I leave you it doesn’t mean I love you any less
Keep me in your heart for awhile
When you get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun
Keep me in your heart for awhile
There’s a train leaving nightly called when all is said and done
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Sometimes when you’re doing simple things
around the house
Maybe you’ll think of me and smile
You know I’m tied to you like the buttons on
your blouse
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Hold me in your thoughts, take me to your dreams
Touch me as I fall into view
When the winter comes keep the fires lit
And I will be right next to you
Engine driver’s headed north to Pleasant Stream
Keep me in your heart for awhile
These wheels keep turning but they’re running out
of steam
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Keep me in your heart for awhile
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