After around-the-clock negotiations, me and my platelets have agreed to begin my final round of chemo today and my platelets, as of this morning, are recovered to chemo safe territory.
Here is the official statement released at 4am following the settlement which sent the platelets back to work in my marrow:
“After days of lengthy good-faith negotiations, Mike Yudell and his platelets have agreed to proceed with the final cycle of R-HYPER CVAD. The agreement which makes this possible, entered into on this day, the fifth of April , 2007, requires the following of both parties”:
a) Mike Yudell will, in good faith, do his best to eat well, stay in shape, and reduce stress to reduce chances of lymphoma ever recurring;
b) Mike Yudell will never refer to his platelets as pesky ever again. Should platelets be slow to recover following the final B cycle, Yudell will only refer to them as “my incredible platelets, which in the face of being treated with horrible toxic chemicals, are doing the best they can do to replenish my bone marrow and do that thing that platelets do.”
c) Yudell’s platelets, herein referred to simply as “platelets”, will work hard to recover following this final B-cycle; and, finally,
d) Yudell’s platelets will use their influence on marrow neighbor’s to insure a healthy and active immune system that will continually seek out any mutant or carcinogenic lymphocytes.
There is no room for me in the hospital tonight, so I will not be starting chemo until morning. My platelets and me (and Jacq, Sophia, and my mom) are heading out for a nice dinner.