Trapped in My Own Private Neutropenic Prison: Day 3

Tonight my white count finally began to creep back up from a low of zero, zots, zilch. I had, for a few moments this morning, absolutely no white blood cells, leaving me with a bad case of…

Don’t worry though, my face will regain its normal features by tomorrow afternoon.

Visiting us tonight are Jacqui’s parents Debbie and Alan, and my oldest friend, Scott Jacoby, whom I have known since birth. Our fathers used to cruise Long Island’s beaches together back in the 1960’s, where Scott’s father and mother met. Our mothers even went to summer camp together. There is A LOT of history between us. Our families yearly trips to the Jewish Borscht Belt, and later to Vermont, were filled with wonderful moments of laughter, good skiing, and watching our fathers eat too much food and tell early versions of what would later become dirty old man jokes. Good times were had by all.

Tonight in the hospital, we reminisced at little, I fell asleep from some Ativan they gave me to counter a reaction to a platelet transfusion, and we all laughed a lot. We also took these silly photos to celebrate this evening’s rising white count (now at .3).

Here Debbie casts a spell on her husband which results in…

Yikes, Alan is magically transformed into identical twins stuck in craftmatic adjustable hell…

Meanwhile, Scott rejected the advances of a cute nurse in the hospital, who, in an act of revenge, injected him with head shrinking juice.

Finally, Jacqui is a mutant all on her own, no special effects necessary, seen here schleping around 8 1/2 months of my alien child.
My amazing nurse Charlotte had her own problems tonight, admitting to everyone on the floor that she was actually a cyclops. It remains uncertain how this will affect her career.